Well hello again. As I continue to contemplate my options career –wise, or should that be search desperately for some sign from God that will tell me what I am meant to do for the rest of my life, I thought I would write about something completely different which has had me thinking for the past few days.
A while ago I signed up to start a blog, however I was unsure of what to write on this blog and equally unsure that anyone would want to read what I have to say. Not that I can’t write, but I am very conscious of the fact that if I am going to write anything it had better be good. So as my Dad would say, “if a job’s worth doing then its worth doing properly”
I am just going to write and hope to God that you like it, I will either get completely ignored or will elicit feedback along the lines of ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about’ !! whatever as the yoof say. I was reading a thread on a forum the other day about relationships, I think the title was ‘would you or wouldn’t you?’ anyway, question was, if a complete stranger approached you in a public place, told you you were beautiful (or similar) and asked you out, would you say yes?
There was no overwhelming majority either way but enough people said no they would run a mile, wouldn’t even acknowledge said person, think they were a nutter etc.. which got me thinking why? Why are we all so afraid of each other? Sure we have to be careful, the person who wrote this thread did say it was in a public place, but just because someone approaches you, pays you a compliment and asks you if they can buy you a coffee, does that mean they are a nutter ? No it doesn’t – no more than someone who says hello at the bus stop or makes a comment in a shop.
So why are we so aghast when it happens? I speak from experience here because my parents are both Irish, and I used to go to Ireland almost every year in my school summer holidays. Over there, everyone talks to each other whether you know them or not, and more often than not you will know each other’s life history in the first 5 mins! Maybe I am exaggerating a little although I bet there’s a fair amount of it, especially in rural Ireland where we were. And maybe that last bit is a clue, the rural thing. Because it seems that in Wales, Scotland and in Northern England, people are generally perceived to be friendlier and more open to strangers than we are in the South East, certainly in the rural parts of the UK. I couldn’t say for sure what its like In Edinburgh or Glasgow or Cardiff, but there is that big city culture where you’re surrounded by lots of people and yet they don’t talk to each other.
The point I am making is this. If we were a bit more open to chatting to each other over here, maybe the hostility, the awkwardness, the off-ish attitude might dissolve? It isn’t prevalent everywhere but there is enough of it about for me to write this. If we were a bit more willing to chat to each other and smile more often, and be a bit friendlier toward each other we could go a long way to relieving some of the tension that exists in our society. I am not suggesting that we all walk round with effervescent smiles on our faces all the time nor that we talk incessantly to other people, more perhaps that we allow ourselves to be a little more approachable and friendly. I am convinced that we could make a really positive change to our society and our own lives if we ‘opened up’ a bit more, in fact I think you would be surprised how quickly it have an effect on us all.
If someone approached me and asked me out I would be stunned! but seriously, if I was single and they were nice enough then what’s the harm in a coffee somewhere? If they weren’t or I wasn’t single, then I’d just smile and say thanks anyway. Incidentally, the person who wrote that thread was a girl and she was the one doing the asking, and she got a yes I believe! Good luck to her, I once asked a girl out in Boots the Chemist, just like that, she said no, because she had just got engaged, and yes I believed her! Didn’t matter anyway, she had a lovely smile, and was lovely the way she said it. Some you win...
I guess thats my rant over for now, but do bear it mind, there is enough hostility and stand-offish-ness as it is, lets try and smile more often and talk to each other, you never know, you may just meet some interesting, warm people and make some new friends. Most people have got a story to tell, why not share yours over a coffee?
Ttfn x
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